PARENTING TIPS

Follow these easy steps to help your relationships...

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Daily Practice –
Notice the good deeds

Everyday for the next week notice two things you liked in your younger child, teen, partner and yourself.

  • Move a step back from the outcome – the outcome might be the one desired or not.
  • What was the process that each one went through?
  • Spend 10 minutes in the evening focusing only on what you liked. Book time on your mobile to remind you practice. You can do it while you’re walking, resting, waiting for the food to cook. Ideally, you’d also journal it.
  • On the 7th day review the week. First become aware of how you feel and your posture. Then review your observations. What does it tell you about your younger child, teen, partner and yourself? Become aware of how your feelings would have changed. How powerfully could you honestly say “This is good!”
Mother Arguing With Teenage Daughter

Being at home with teens – being available

Unlike popular belief, parents need to spend even more time at home during the adolescence of their children.
The teenager might ignore you. However, they need you at home, to be there, quiet and available.

WHAT ARE YOU MODELLING?

  • If you need to clean or iron clothes, clean or iron
  • Be genuinely relaxed and calm – you’re helping your teen in growing up – it’s interesting and fun
  • Find a hobby, or read an interesting book. Avoid watching television or using the internet for too long
  • Go walking for 30 minutes and mention it: “Would you like to join me for a fast walk?” Don’t take it personally if turned down.
  • Be home in time. Better even, do some exercises at home
  • Read, meditate, or practice mindful breathing – model relaxation
  • Be available, though. If they start talking, drop everything what you do and turn around and if the teen is happy look at them, face them. If you sense that they are uncomfortable, just slow down significantly and listen. Show presence. Don’t give advice, unless asked a few times. Just listen, until you are sure they finished their idea. You’re their sounding board. They might say shocking things and re-think them. They need to think out loud, uninterrupted.